The Double Martini.
When the last of my delicate martini glasses fragmented from stress
fractures from excessive use since 1999, as my wife had often warned me
it might,( especially if I remained too lazy to wash them by hand) and
insisted in putting them into the dishwasher, I had an acute anxiety
attack. Many folks think that an ordinary drinking glass will do
equally well, but I know otherwise. The geometric design of that
humble and inexpensive glass gives it a unique elegance that is greatly
enhanced by the two plump oval olives that gently traverse the inverted
As I have often said to my closest and dearest, if God had not meant
man to be happy he would never have invented the martini. I think it
promotes both health and happiness and I feel I have contributed to my
chosen profession in some small way by, if not inventing, at least
strongly promulgating the double martini. So here I am at the age of 82
wondering whether it would be too bold, to recommend the TRIPLE! I
know of course, there would be great danger in making such a
recommendation to the dull and unsophisticated, but that is no reason
that the intrepid and audacious among us should be deprived of such
I started my search for some new triangular glasses a few weeks ago
and soon realized that there were two predominant models available. The
elegant cut glass expensive model, very fine thin glass, that give a
delightful reverberating musical 'ping' when you flick it
correctly. (Long ago a friend of mine gave me one of these for a
birthday present and I broke it in the first week. Mind you, in those
days I didn't hold my liquor as well as I do now.) The real problem with
this model is that it is rather delicate and requires hand washing,
because it is too delicate to withstand the trauma of the dishwasher.
As I have no butler and would have to do the washing myself, I decided
to forgo the aesthetics and settle for the working man's martini
glass. I had bought a few many years ago, in the Dollar Store and so I
decided that was where I would start my search. To my horror, I found
that no Dollar Store that I visited had a martini glass, despite the
fact that I was prepared to spend considerably more than a dollar for
the glass. Indeed, I would have been prepared to quintuple that amount
without batting an eyelid!! The solution to the problem was
surprisingly simple, though I would never have thought of it in a month
My lovely bride had decided that we should donate some of our treasures
to the 'Thrift Store', a chain of non-profit charitable stores who's
profits are donated to worthy charities. We visited the local one and
after a moment we recognized that all the well made, delightful products
of the craftsmanship of our youth was to be found in such stores.
Waterford cut glass, Royal Doulton China. All the treasures of our
parents and grandparents for sale for a pittance. No one wants
Lladro,Waterford, Bone china, silver candlesticks, they require too much
care. After all, these days people who are too busy to look after
their own children.
as I browsed around, I shouldn't have been too surprised to find
Martini glasses of very reasonable quality in two differed sizes, the
large ones $2 and the smaller size $1. I decided to splurge and take
one of each size.
As I checked out, the cashier said, "$2 please".
"No," I said, "It's $3".
"The big glasses are on sale, they are reduced to $1. No one seems to want the big ones."
"I do," I said as I handed over my $2.