Wednesday, 25 April 2018

The Double Martini!

The Double Martini.
   When the last of my delicate martini glasses fragmented from stress fractures from excessive use since 1999, as my wife had often warned me it  might,( especially if I remained too lazy to wash them by hand) and insisted in putting them into the dishwasher, I had an acute anxiety attack.  Many folks think that an ordinary drinking glass will do equally well, but I  know otherwise.  The geometric design of that humble  and inexpensive glass gives it a unique elegance that is greatly enhanced by the two plump oval olives that gently traverse the inverted triangle.
   As I have often said to my closest and dearest, if God had not meant man to be happy he would never have invented the martini.  I think it promotes both health and happiness and I feel I have contributed to my chosen profession in some small way by, if not inventing, at least strongly promulgating the double martini.  So here I am at the age of 82 wondering whether it would be too bold, to recommend the TRIPLE!  I know of  course, there would be great danger in making such a recommendation to the dull and unsophisticated, but that is no reason that the intrepid and audacious among us should be deprived of such savoir- faire.
   I started my search for some new triangular glasses a few weeks ago and soon realized that there were two predominant models available.  The elegant cut glass expensive model, very fine thin glass, that give a delightful reverberating musical 'ping' when you flick it correctly.  (Long ago a friend of mine gave me one of these for a birthday present and I broke it in  the first week.  Mind you, in those days I didn't hold my liquor as well as I do now.) The real problem with this model is that it is rather delicate and requires hand washing, because it is too delicate to withstand the trauma of the dishwasher.   As I have no butler and would have to do the washing myself, I decided to forgo the aesthetics and settle for the working man's martini glass.   I had bought a few many years ago, in the Dollar Store and so I decided that was where I would start my search.  To my horror, I found that no Dollar Store that I visited had a martini glass, despite the fact that I was prepared to spend considerably more than a dollar for the glass.  Indeed, I would have been prepared to quintuple that amount without batting an eyelid!!   The solution to the problem was surprisingly simple, though I would never have thought of it in a month of Sundays! 
   My lovely bride had decided that we should donate some of our treasures to the 'Thrift Store', a chain of non-profit charitable stores who's profits are donated to worthy charities.  We visited the local one and after a moment we recognized that all the well made, delightful products of the craftsmanship of our youth was to be found in such stores.  Waterford cut glass, Royal Doulton China.   All the treasures of our parents and grandparents for sale for a pittance.  No one wants Lladro,Waterford, Bone china, silver candlesticks, they require too much care.   After all, these days people who are too busy  to look after their own children.  
So, as I browsed around, I shouldn't have been too surprised to find Martini glasses of very reasonable quality in two differed sizes, the large ones $2 and the smaller size $1.  I decided to splurge and take one of each size.
   As I checked out, the cashier said, "$2 please".
   "No," I said, "It's $3".
   "The big glasses are on sale, they are reduced to $1.  No one seems to want the big ones."
   "I do," I said as I handed over my $2.

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